One 45 Second at a Time

When I started this fledgling little blog of mine I thought it would be easy. I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of feels and I like to share them. To me that’s what this human experience is all about – sharing and experiencing with one another.  Surely I could think of things to write ALL the time.

Wrong. Writer’s block is real, people.

I typed several drafts over the past few weeks and never published them. They all sounded too cheesy or preachy. You know, like I actually had life figured out. Spoiler alert: I don’t.

I’m basically winging it through life.  Hopefully I’m not alone in this.

Most days my life is more like this:

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I don’t have my life completely together. I don’t think many people do (if you know someone that does tell them to call me) But all jokes aside, I feel closer than I ever have in that pursuit.

I’ve realized over the past 3 weeks that by “saying yes” I’ve also been letting go of control.

Right now, in many way I feel like I have no control of the future. And that’s a good thing.

Unlike most paths in life, I don’t know where this one will lead me. It energizes me to think that the possibilities ahead of me are endless. I can literally do anything.

Here’s the good news…that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and eat, pray, love to feel this way.

To me, it simply means letting go of control.  And for me, this was my way to discover that.

Well, I’m certainly no expert in this whole letting go thing. I only have my experience and the experiences I observe of those around me.

To me, I think giving up control means putting both feet forward into the unknown, not keeping one foot out the door on safe ground, and believing that life is inherently good and anything can happen, including disappointments.

As humans I think it is easy to generally become complacent with life. We may find it easy to believe that there is something great in our future when life is looking up, but maybe tend to avoid addressing disappointment when life isn’t.  But I’m learning that maybe if we embrace those disappointments instead of avoiding them we will, in time, allow ourselves to open up to even greater things. You know, embrace the good and the bad. Let them co-exist together.

Personally, I’ve had those moments where I tried to block out the sad, the negative, the fear, and I soon saw that I can’t block out one without simultaneously blocking out some of the good too.  I think it’s the same with control.  Trying to control disappointments or not allowing ourselves to be open to endless possibilities thwarts us from ALL we are capable of.  Maybe. I’m still learning.

These past 3 weeks I’ve been less worried about the outcome of each situation I encounter in life because I’ve already done something that was scary to me. Magically, that one decision and its outcomes have spilled over into greater confidence and excitement in family relationships, friendships, dating, and more.

Who knows, maybe with time and practice I’ll feel like I have my life together for than 45 seconds a day.